I wasn’t sure it was possible for one person to cry so much!
I feel so pathetic today. Mum just asked what I wanted to do on Christmas day…stay at home with the family or go somewhere else. The thought of having to pretend to be ok at someone else’s house made me feel so nervous I burst into tears! That isn’t normal.
All I want is to feel normal. To not burst into tears at the tiniest thing, to not feel sick due to a Facebook update or a tweet, to sleep properly, to not cry when someone is nice to me. Is that too much to ask??
I wish there was a way that I could click my fingers and everything would be ok. One day I know it will be. One day I will get up in the morning and not have to find the energy to put on a smile and pretend that I am ok because I wont need to pretend any more. Until that day I guess I just have to accept that there will be days when my mascara gets ruined, my heart hurts and my sleep pattern is just none existent!
I say this every post but I am so thankful for my amazing friends and family for getting me through the bad days. Your support means the world to me.